Loneliness And Life

Why Do I Feel So Lonely All The Time In My Life- 12 Step Guide

Why do I feel so lonely all the time is a thought-provoking question. We all feel lonely at some point in time in our lives. Some destroy their life by being so negative in their loneliness. Some gain huge advantages by remaining positive in their loneliness.

Why Do I Feel So Lonely All The Time

Loneliness is an emotional state, not a physical state. What you are feeling and thinking within you is constructing your behaviour. So to understand your aloneness, you have to go deeper within yourself.

There are so many factors that can make you lonely in your life. 

Your Loneliness is a product of your mental state that may be instigated by the following reasons.

1- You Think It’s God’s Will

Your loneliness is not God’s will for you. Loneliness is always acquired and never by birth. Loneliness is an emotion. Loneliness develops out of frustration and haplessness. When you feel incompetent to face the situation then you give up. You become reticent and lonely.

God has given you all the things to keep you happy and satisfied. You are decoding God’s message in the wrong way. God has not destined you loneliness. 

God has given flight to birds, swimming to fish, fruit to seeds, and resource to you. God never gives a chair, He always gives a Tree. God never gives a burger, He always gives a piece of land to Produce the Resources to bake a burger. God never gives money, He always gives Ideas to Produce money. God does not give loneliness, He always gives testing moments to squeeze out the gems hidden in you in the form of IDEAS to change your life.

It is God’s mercy that He has given the production capacity in your hands. God loves you. What you produce will never run out for you. It will never finish because you have the production capability. You will always produce and never feel lacking in your life. 

But you don’t understand the laws of God. You took His squeezing as crushing, His testing as cursing. God wants to improve your level and passes you through various tests to prepare you for a better life.

Come back in His resort and understand the mind of God. You will feel your loneliness is His compassion. His test is always for your Best.

Feeling lonely all the time shows that you are not feeling the presence of God in your life. Your prayers will give you peace. God will fill your lonely moments with happy moments.

2- You Have Lost Someone Dear To You

A loss of life is the highest loss that a person can suffer. It is irreplaceable. All other losses are nothing comparing it.

When you lose your parent, grandparent, spouse, children, friend, or anyone else in your close circle, then you become devastated and sad.

No one can fill the gap of that person in your life. You have only moments and memories left by them with you. You bask in sorrow, miss them, and shed tears in silence. When you are silent, you are thinking about them. When you are speaking, you are talking about them.

Your mind remains continuously engaged with sorrowful and sad thoughts. Your mental environment creates your physical world. Your emotions wear a physical dress and, you appear pale and lonely in your life.

Your loss is huge but to destroy yourself with your loss is suicide. Please don’t commit suicide. Control your emotions. Your sadness and loneliness are killing you bit by bit daily. You are losing the momentum of life. It will make you mentally sick and depressed.

You have to live because your existence is giving life & energy to your family and friends. Don’t discourage them with your attitudes. There are so many unfinished assignments you have to complete. So many lives you have to change. You have to become a part of so many success stories. You have not finished. You have just halted.  

Introspect in your aloneness, and try to come out of it. Your willingness to come out of your loneliness is an indication that you are targetting better things for your life.

3- You Have A Breakup

Love is a beautiful thing. It brings two people together in the journey of life. You become dreamy and imaginative with that person for your future life. Your present and future moments are reserved with that person. 

They are always there with you as a person and as a thought. You become intertwined, and you two become one. You feel inseparable and see the whole life in each other.     

When you break up after this level of attachment and affection, the entire world crashes on you. You see no interest in life and don’t find any motivation for the future. You feel that relationships are a lie and people are unreliable.

Bad memories hover around your head all the time. You sulk and become depressed. You stop interactions and become silent. You cave in and feel lonely. Your loneliness engulfs all the gamut of your life. Maybe your life is passing through this phase of life. Your Breakup is hurting you badly.

Always remember that a person may be your life but your life is not only for a person. Your destiny is never attached to a person who has left you.

You have to move on with all your pains and negativities. Your movements will bring back momentum in your life. Press the start button, move on and see the happy changes in your life yourself.

I lost someone that doesn’t love me. You lost someone who really loved you.

4- You Think No One Loves You

Another big reason for your loneliness is that you feel nobody is caring for you and loving you. You feel hurt and gloomy all the time.

It poses a big problem in your life as you become judgemental of every person and everything. Because of it, heedlessly, you attach false expectations with others. 

Judgemental feelings and false expectations keep you emotionally charged. You become busy reading others’ behaviours and reactions in your life. Because of it, you become reactive in your approach. A reactive approach is based on circumstances. Circumstances start governing you in life. When circumstances are your master then you become the servant of happenings

These all negative emotions make you more sorrowful and lonely. You become disenchanted from your life and feel no real love in life. What you see you find. You were sensing no love and you are finding no love. 

Happy and successful people are always governed by attitudes and not by circumstances. Become a person of value. What you focus on magnifies. Focus on love, and it will magnify for you manyfold. Give love to get love. Do them regularly in your life. Your loneliness will be replaced by happiness.

5- You Are A Perfectionist

 Perfectionists are always lonely. Perfectionist finds comfort in order. They are lonely because they see things from their perspective only. They don’t accept a little waiver from their viewpoint. Perfectionists always want to do a thing in the right way, what they are thinking is right. It always makes them anxious.  

It is easy to disturb and acerbate you as a perfectionist as you become excited by the least bit of imperfection. 

People are the go-getters’ type. Most of them don’t go for perfection but completion

When you see imperfection everywhere then you internally become peevish. Since you can’t correct everyone, you become reclusive. This step takes you towards loneliness. 

You can easily modify your behaviour by making small changes in it. Those small changes have the power to snatch away your loneliness from you.

  • connect with people
  • show your human side
  • do positive mental chatter
  • control your emotions
  • don’t attach high expectations to others

These small changes will evaporate your aloneness and make you happy and chirpy in life.

Perfectionists are not creatives. They don’t believe in new ideas and new experiments. This habit keeps them lonely in life.

6- Your Future Is Uncertain

When you find your future uncertain you will always feel tense. When you don’t share your tension with anyone then you start smouldering within. 

It makes you tenser and you become repulsive and reclusive in life.

The better way is to analyze the situation and try to find the reason that is making your future uncertain. Your loneliness will only go when you work on your problems and solve them.

If you find skill is hampering the future progress, learn new skills. If you find personal behaviour is stopping your glorious future, then change your traits. 

Loneliness can never be the excuse for the failure of your life.

7- Your Past Is Haunting You

Sometimes your loneliness is deep-rooted. Your loneliness is rooted in some past event and that event is continuously haunting you. Those memories embed so heavily on your mind that they disturb you continuously and you feel permanently lonely. 

Look, your past can’t keep you permanently unhappy. Your past must serve you and never rule over you. When the past starts ruling you, you become the slave of your past. When the past serves you, you take lessons from your past and builds your future.

Your loneliness will cease when you use your past to build your future. This way past will not haunt you but help you.

8- You Have Poor Health

When you are sick or critically ill, it dents to your hope and confidence, and you may feel lonely and depressed. Your poor health stops you from taking initiatives in life. 

New initiatives bring new feelings to life. Without any new initiative, you will live in the same status quo. You will remain the same lonely fellow. You will never feel happy in life.

It takes courage to take giant steps. It’s your life. Take your life seriously. Try to keep yourself fit. Medical science has advanced so much that it has effective medicines for almost every disease. Remain positive throughout the treatment. Your better mental state will improve your health and jettison your loneliness.

9- You Have No Social Life

No social life means very little interaction and connection with others. The problem with no social life is that you remain in the same mode of thinking and thought process. If you are feeling unhappy you will drool in that same condition. Because you don’t have enough social interactions for a change of mood.

When you meet enough people, then your interaction and communication take shape. You learn from their knowledge, skill, attitude and style. You unconsciously gain from their behaviour. It leads you to more interaction. Thus, it breaks the shackle of your loneliness in life. You become social and feel valued

It opens the gateway to your happiness.

When you don’t socialize then your aloofness grows. Your loneliness comes into your life as a friend and destroys you as a foe.

10- You Are Not Receiving Enough

At times you feel lonely because you feel that you have done so many good things for others, but others don’t understand and reciprocate with you accordingly. This thought ruminates in your mind and keeps you lonely all the time. You think that there is no use to help others and empathize.

You are a human being, and this feeling is quite natural to you. When you always give to others and never receive from them, then you feel depleted. You still want to do many things for them, but an imaginary barrier stops you from doing those things freely. It makes you feel disconnected and lonely.

Happiness is in giving and receiving. Distance yourself from people who are depleting you.

11- You Are Not Satisfied with Yourself

You will always feel lonely if you are not satisfied with yourself. Think clearly, what is disturbing you. What is the issue, how it can be solved?

Whatever may be the problem, there is a solution for every problem. When you believe in it then your level of dissatisfaction settles. Your perspective on your problem changes. Your problem-oriented mindset shifts to a solution-oriented mindset. You look for solutions. It makes you positive and optimistic in life. It opens the satisfaction window in your life. You feel no more lonely and frustrated. You love and laugh in life.

12- You Are Not Fitting-In

When you feel uncomfortable among others all the time, then an inferiority complex sets in your mind. It gives birth to a comparison and competition mindset. You look at others for approval and nod. Your level of confidence goes down. You become so touchy that everything starts hurting you. You sink into your lonely world for safety and security. Don’t think that you are not fitting in with others, it will lead you to compromise and adjustment. 

Think that you have your uniqueness and specialityYou have not to become a photocopy of somebody. You are original. 

Add values in yourself through learning and doing. You will feel appreciated and recognized. Your area of influence will grow. People will start noticing you and following you. 

It will bring back energy and enthusiasm to your life. Your loneliness will dissipate. You will feel happier and merrier.

Thank You.




Sajid Mumtaz

Sajid Mumtaz is a writer, motivational speaker, and a marketing strategist.He has written many motivational articles, Instagram stories, and inspiring quotes. A youtube chanell on successful living is also to his credit. Recently he is working on his projects on Human Behavior & Consumer Behavior.

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