Silence is violent when there is no peace in it.
Sajid Mumtaz
How to stop feeling lonely and sad in isolation when everything around you is making you a loner and sadder is a big question to answer.
When businesses are shut, routines are upside down, minds are doubtful, loved ones are getting infected, meetings are discouraged, you are not free with others, and others are not free with you, then it is quite natural to feel bad and low.
When medicines, hospitals, abstinence, fear, are the bulk of your conversations, then falling lonely and sad is very easy for you.
Feeling lonely and sad in lockdown is situational, but to accept that state andremain in that state is a choice.
When tough days visit you and you feel the pressure and submit yourself to the situation, then you are accepting the situation.
This is very dangerous for your life. Because youracceptance of the situation is not going to change your circumstances.
How To Stop Feeling Lonely And Sad
It is a choice to change your circumstancesand not to feel lonely and sad. You have to show resistance. You have to create your environment.
You just have not to manage the circumstances that befall you. You have to think of ways and create new solutions for your life.
You are the Creator of your life and not the manager of your circumstances.
20 robust ideasthat can stop feeling lonely and sad in the lockdown are worth following.
Go to them one by one, read them, imbibe them, and internalize them. They will change your perspective.
1- Don’t Curse Yourself In Any Way
Your movements are not free, you are not living the desired life, you are in an isolation, you don’t look good, you are not fit, you are not going to meet your love, you don’t have enough money, your life has no charm, no-one loves you,……., blah, blah, blah, thesereasons are not enough to CURSE youall the time.
Words are powerful, words have emotions, words have images.What words you speak the whole day shape your thoughtsand behaviours. When the whole dayyou curse yourself then your life manifests those kinds of feelingsand actions in your daily life.
What you think you become.
Thoughts are powerful. Someone has rightly said that ifyou think you can or you can’t, you are right both the time.
What you believe in manifests in your life.
Your loneliness and sorrow can be the manifestation of your cursing.
When you feel incompetent, discouraged, unlucky, and poor then only bad feelings will hover you.
Don’t curse but ask for blessings.
Cursing will take you towards darkness, blessings will take you towards the light.
2- Don’t Wait For Things To Happen, Make Them Happen
Isolation has put life on the hold. Isolation will pass, butmany isolations like situations will come in life.
If you don’t learn the art to fight this isolation then you will remain weak also in other isolations of life.
You will soak further in the loneliness of lockdown and it will result in more sadness for you.
What happens in life is of little importance comparing what youDOwith what happens in life.
When you wait for things to change in life like the market to change, economy to change, rules to change, income to change, situations to change, environment to change, government to change, relationships to change, then you will always haveexpectations from others.
Then you are not the catalyst of change. You are waiting for the situation to be your way as the other 95% of the population are doing. You will only be a part of the crowd.
Things always don’t happen your way.
So you will become despondent in life. It will further bring sadness and loneliness in life.
When you are aDOER, and you don’t wait for others to take steps for you, youwrite your story. Youinitiate the changesin your life. You learn, assimilate and take actions.
You become the driver of your life. When you are in the driver seat of your life then youdecide your direction, you decide how much distance to cover on a given day.
Your progress doesn’t depend on others, you write your success story.
This attitude brings happiness and prosperity in life. Loneliness and sadness don’t affect you anymore.
3- Find Solace In Your Best Buddy
When you are in isolation, feeling lonely and sad then yourenergy level goes down, your enthusiasm gets a beating, nothing enthrals you, and you think that your life is useless, it has no real purpose.
This is the best time to connect with your best buddy.
Yourbest buddymaybe your friend, father, spouse, mentor, sibling, or books, etc.
Your best buddy is someone who is always…
- Presentfor you. It is not just a physical presence but also an emotional presence.
- Understandsyou better than others.
- Listensto you. It means before opening the mouth opens ears for you.
- Validatesyour emotions and feelings.
- Guidesyou from despair to delight.
- Empathizesyou.
- Feedbacksyou.
You willfind trust in him, and yourconfidence willboost. You will feel good and appreciate life again.
4- Define The Purpose Of Life
When you are isolated, feeling sad and lonely, and nothing is giving you energy and inspiration to lead your life then this is the best time to ask this question to yourself-What is the purpose of your life? What are the heights you have to touch in future?
When your purpose in life is not well defined then you will never have a roadmap of priorities in your life.
- Your purpose sets the goal for your life.
- Your purpose sets for you the direction of your life to achieve those goals.
- Your purpose guides you to learn the required skills to get your purpose.
- Your purpose gives you a different environment and association required for achieving your goal.
- Your purpose moulds your behaviour.
- Your purpose makes you alive, authentic, and clear.
- Your purpose gives flow to your life and you don’t feel stuck in life.
- Your purpose gives inspiration to you and saves you from depression and loneliness.
- Your purpose keeps you healthy and fit, as it keeps you happy and energized.
- Your purpose positively engages your life and you don’t have any time to pursue futile things in life.
- Your purpose keeps your relationships healthy as you are a purpose-driven person.
- Your purpose never keeps you lonely and sad, as it gives your life true meaning.
When you have no purpose in life then you will never be in a position to judge the advancement of your life. Neither good things will inspire you, nor bad things will affect you.
Tony Robbins has rightly said that either you grow or you die.When you are not growing you are dying.
When your life is not progressing your life is regressing.
The purpose of life is the ultimate thing.
That makes you a human. That keeps you a human. That keeps you progressive. That keeps you ahead. That makes you joyful. That makes you massive. That makes you connected. That gives you recognition in the world.
5- Gain Mastery Over Problems
Isolation will only acerbate your bitterness. When you are sad and lonely then it shows your incapable state. As long as you are incapable, you are weak.
Your small problems will appear bigger when you are weak.Gaining mastery over your problems is like dictating life on your terms.
Problem-solving skillshave been in high demand since the inception of human development.
We always face issues, and those of us proceed ahead who have the skills to generate solutions to their problems.
You raise your rank as well as the level of your life. Your happiness and love in life aredirectly proportionalto how well you solve complex problems in life.
When you gain mastery in these 5 stages then you gain mastery in solving problems. You become a solution provider.
- Identify The Problem-Always try to answer the question that why this issue is surfaced. Don’t guess the problem or make up the problem.Become rational and don’t become emotionalin understanding the problem.
When you identify the problem in the wrong way then you will always go for the wrong solution. That is why the right understanding of the problem is very important.
- Think Of Possible Solutions-Once the problem is crystal clear, think of all the possible solutions available. Take the advice of those people who areexpert in that field. Brainstorm and learn things that help you to reach the right solutions
- Evaluate Your Solutions-Evaluate the solutions you have sorted out. While evaluating the solutions you have to keep two factors in mind-
- Your solution must bein alignment with the short & long term goalsof your life.
- Your solution must be in yourcapacity to handle effectively. A very good solution with less possibility to follow in the long runs is a poor solution.
- Execute Your Solutions-It makes no sense to find a solution but never put that into practice.When you give solutions legs, then they kick out your problems from life.
- Take Feedbacks & Do Adjustments-When you execute the solution and throughfeedbacks and observationsyou realize the necessity of certain adjustments in your ideas and solutions then do them.
This way you gain mastery over your problems.
A mind thatsees only problems will lead you towards confusionand dependency.
A mind thatsees solutions only will lead you towards opportunityand freedom.
6- Find Your Passion
This is theisolation of your physical activities, when did it creep into your mind and made it a mental lockdown for you.
Yourmental lockdownwill decimate your thoughts and paralyze your confidence.
It will give birth to loneliness & sadness in your life.
Now, what your life wants from you- you know, it wants recharging and energy.
Your Passion is your recharge, your passion is your energy. Find it to find you back.
How You Can Find Your Passion?
Just think what impressed you most as a kid, what kind of people attracted you most, what kinds of information you gathered the most, what books you read, what shows you watched, what were your dominant thoughts, what was the bulk of your conversations about, who you befriended with, etc.
All these things signal you towards your passion.
When you find your passion then
- you love experimenting that time and again
- you love doing that stuff
- you lose track of time
- never feel tired doing them
- never get bored in those activities
- feel fun doing them
- feel excitement doing them
- feel energy doing them, etc.
Recognize your passion, the sooner the better.
Once you recognize your passion, then learn the crafts of your passion and refine them.
Bring your passion and profession as much closer as possible. Yoursuccess ratiois much higher when you are doing something which you love the most.
Thislockdown and isolation is the best time for your self-discovery and better believe me it will never disappoint you and keep you lonely & sad throughout your life.
7- Show gratitude
When you show gratitude then this is the greatestde-stressor.
It shows that so many good things are happening in life and for that, you have to be thankful.
When in isolation and feeling lonely and sad, just try to thank as many people as possible for making something good in your life.
Show gratitudeto the world, nature, resources for making your life a possibility. Instantaneously, you will feel satisfaction and happiness.
Feeling lonely and sad is anisolated feeling. Showing gratitude is afeeling of inclusiveness.
Showing gratitude shows your humility and humbleness. It gives youinner peace and tranquillity.
8- Show Your Uniqueness & Creativity
When you are in isolation then this is thebest timefor you to discover the very special element God has given to you as a gift, i.e.your uniqueness.
To accomplish the utmost success in life you have to work on two things-
A) Discover Your Uniqueness
You were born an individual, don’t die a copy.
John Mason
Your face is different, your voice is different, your DNA is different, your fingerprint is different, and everything you have is different from others.
What does that mean? It means that you are born as a unique individual.
Why you are born a unique individual? It is because you are born with signs of significance in you. No one is like you.
Yoursuccess is guaranteed when you live with your uniqueness.
Many of us are born as singers but they are living as an accountant. Those who are born as doctors are living as writers. Many born to be a great chef is living as a chemist.
You will never achieve your maximum growth when you don’t recognize your uniqueness.
Your uniqueness is your identity.
We all arevictims of misplaced identities. That is why we all are average and mediocre.
You will remain lonely and sad and you will always doubt your potentials if you don’tdiscover yourself.
B) Show Your Creativity
Once you discover your uniqueness thenwork on refiningthem. That will enhance your ability manyfold.
Becreative and innovativewith your newfound abilities.
The best thing with unique abilities is that you don’t need to compete, you just create.
Your creation is youroriginality.It gives you recognition and accomplishments.
9- Learn To Be Effective In Life
When you are in isolation then you have quality time for evaluation.
How busy you are is not important, how effective you are is Important.
Don’t mistake your movements with Achievements.
Your achievements have a lot to do with your positioning.
How you are positioning yourself for success and happiness in life depends on howconsistentyou are with your efforts.
Your consistency gives you mastery. When youattain masterythen you are in the command of the situation.
When you are incommandthen you are also effective.
You will onlyfeel fine and happywhen you are also effective.
10- Consolidate Your Relationships
Your isolation, loneliness, and sadness would have told you the importance of good relationships.
A strong relationship is built on trust, caring, love, and sharing.
The power of a consolidated relationship is happiness & peace in life.
When you have someone to fall back upon, take care of, show affection with, transform ideas with, then you are a lucky fellow.
A happy relationship is such abig possessionthat you can cross any barrier, cover any distance, with the confidence of your partner.
When you have this then you are therichest and luckiest personon earth.
Work on your relationships always and enjoy the happy moments of life.
11- Feelings Are Impermanent, Facts Are real
This is a piece of very good news thatfeelings are impermanent. It means your feelings generated by isolation, your feelings of loneliness, your feelings of sadness are also impermanent. They will pass with time.
The New Happiness: Practices for Spiritual Growth and Living with Intention by Matthew McKay and Jeffrey C. Woodis a masterpiece that describes the impermanence of emotions in a very informative way.
They suggest that in their own words-
“Feelings like anger, sadness, and nervousness all eventually fade away.
Unfortunately, however, the other news is that pleasant emotions like happiness, joy, and contentment also change and disappear.
No one is truly “happy all the time.”
The truth is, we all go through cycles of emotions and eventually return to neutral. We then remain in a neutral state of equilibrium until some stimulus acts on us again, and then we feel emotion until it too fades away and we return to neutral again.
Disappointment and suffering often occur when people think they should remain happy “all the time,” or when they resist feeling sad or angry because they think “I should never feel upset.”
Again, the truth is,we all go through cycles of emotionsin our lives, but if left alone, our emotions fade—even the happy ones—and that’s okay.
You come to know that your emotions are not permanent whether they are good emotions or bad emotions. It also means that your mood is going to change with the changing emotions. Be mindful and think that drooling in a particular emotion or be overjoyed in another is just average thinking and living.
Don’t expect that you will always remain happy. It will multiply your problem and prolong your sadness and loneliness. Get ready for some low moments in life. It will always come. When you don’t admit it and something untoward happens in life then you break and go berserk. Admit if something bad happens in life and try to get over it. It will come and pass.
God has created this world this way only. This physical world is not permanent.
When you become aware of the fact that emotions are impermanent then this line of thinking will alleviate your sadness and loneliness. It will give you the courage to accept that things you are associated with are not going to be with you forever. This acceptance will bring a smile back to your face and make you happier.
Therefore, be in the present moment and enjoy it while it is occurring! Because it might not be there tomorrow.”(An excerpt from The New Happiness: Practices for Spiritual Growth and Living with Intention)
12- Submit To God
God is our succour and sustainer.
Whenever we feel low, depressed, isolated, sick, sad, or happy, joyful, and healthy we must submit to God.
The presence ofGod gives us strength, courage, hope, and peace.
When you feel dull, and find every door closed for you, nothing good is happening to you then God is your last resort.
God doesn’t leave you alone.
When no one is listening to you,God is listeningto you.
When no one is supporting you,God is supportingyou.
When no one is around you,God is aroundyou.
God never leaves you lonely.
When your heart is heavy, eyes are full of tears, every way is blocked, and you smoulder within, still, God is with you, consoling you andlistening to your prayers.
God is themost positivething in your life.
God savesyou from negativity, ill-will, and anguish.
As long as God is in your life,loneliness and sadnesscan never touch you.
13- Fall In Love With Yourself
Tony Robbins has rightly said that the quality of your relationships determines the quality of your life and that includes your relationship with yourself.
Falling in love with yourself isessentialfor your happiness and growth.
When you love yourself then
- you take care of yourself much better
- focus on the good things in life
- learn new things to improve
- communicate better
- keep yourself healthy
- keep yourself happy
- count your blessings
- solve life problems
- spread love
- help others
- socialize
These are only a few qualities thattake birth in you, once you start loving yourself.
You will never feel isolated, lonely, and sad when you are present with yourself, rather you will enjoy the get-together.
14- Focus On Personal Development
Your isolated life is crying for your development.
Personal development is the overall development of your life.
When you focus onpersonal development, then actually you focus on yourself.
There are many personal development books you can refer to, mentors you can learn from, seminars, webinars you can join, internet surfings, these are all the possible ways available to us for our development.
They have the power to change your personal and professional life.
Your improvement will keep you happy and engaged.
15- Consult A Therapist
When you are feeling lonely and sad in your isolation, and you arefearfulthat something bad may happen to you thendon’t dwell in your suffering.
Atherapist is an expertin this situation. You can always go for the advice of your expert.
16- Health Is Wealth
Sometimes yourpoor healthis the problem of your different mental state. You feelrestlessand see negativity in everything.
You can mount any difficulty when you havehopeand you have hope only when you havehealth.
Health is thetopmost priorityof your life. Yoursmileand hope are hidden in your healthy well being.
Yourmental and physical healthis the driver of your life.
17- Expand Your Vision
Expanding your vision means growing your vision and see more than you are seeing,reach more than you are reaching.
When you develop an eye to see deeper, then it helps you toanticipate your future better.
Your immediateenvironment builds your vision.
Surround yourself with more knowledgeable, successful, and visionary people around you.
Their association will transform you and change yourperspective.
With your improved vision,you will see advantages in adversity.
Your sad and lonely moments will become a meditating ground for you.
18- Turn From ‘Lonely & Sad’ To ‘Happy & Calm’
A lonely and sad state is an emotional state. A happy and calm state is again an emotional state.
Whenever you want to change your emotional state then you will have to make aconsciouschoice for that.
Sinceyou can switchfrom one emotional state to another, that is why happiness and calmness is a choice.
Problems don’t make us suffer. But the way we deal with problems that make us suffer.
The way we handle our emotions make us sad or happy.
Choose happiness every time.
19- Don’t Be A “Touchy” Person, Rather Be A “Sensitive” Person
A touchy person is a highly volatile person who gets easily disturbed to a point of becoming unstable.
A sensitive person is the one who makes his perception based on his senses.
- When you aretouchy, then the SITUATION around you is stimulating you. When you aresensitive, then your SENSES and not your situations are stimulating you.
- When you aretouchy, then circumstances are making or breaking you. When you aresensitive, then your perceptions are driving you.
- When you aretouchy, then you will be easily disturbed, and live a failed life. When you aresensitive, then your emotions are in your command and you will be the champion of your thoughts.
You have neverfull controlof your circumstances, but you have always full control of yourself.
Be a sensitive person to write thesuccess storyof your life. Your life will smile and you will be happy.
20- Sometimes It’s Okay Not To Be Okay
You do every stuff to not feel lonely and sad, you change your group and your behaviour.
But it happens sometimes thatnothing works.
The more you are putting in efforts to change the circumstances, the more youfeel embroiled in the mire of dire circumstances.
You lose heart and hopes and sink yourself into depression.
Always remember that sometimes it takes longer than usual toinitiate a responseto your efforts.
Don’t destroy yourself. Sometimes it’s okay not to be okay.
Your isolation can be anightmarefor you and it can also be afanciful dreamfor you. It all depends on yourmindset.
When you take isolation as a nightmare it will haunt you with ghostly images everywhere. It will give you fear and failure.
When you take isolation as a fanciful dream then it will add colours to your life. It will give you fun in learning and new highs in earning.
Always see ADVANTAGES IN ADVERSITY.
Thank You.
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