Feeling lonely is fine. Staying this way forever is not.
Feeling lonely in life is good for you and not bad. Your loneliness is a gift of God for you.
You have made certain decisions in life, those are not rewarding you. You have made certain investments in relationships, those are not reaping dividends for you. You have made certain judgements in day to day affairs, those are not bringing happiness in your life.
Your current lonely state is an outcome of your past & present lifestyle.
The moment you realize this fact, that your lifestyles and decisions are responsible for your loneliness. you get your Eureka moment.
Your paradigm shifts from ‘Life Condemnation’ to ‘Course Correction’.
Why Feeling Lonely In Life Is Good And Not Bad?
What do you do when your car or bike develops a glitch?
The glitch shows your negligence and improper handling of the vehicle.
It’s your vehicle’s way to tell you, that I require repairing, overhauling, or servicing or in other words, it tells you, please take care of me more properly, I am in trouble.
You have not taken care of me, so gradually I reduced to this condition.
You get them serviced, and they become fit and fine again.
Similarly, your feelings of loneliness in life is not a one-day affair.
Your loneliness develops over a period and takes a monstrous shape in several years. It is an emotional state and it gives you pain.
Your relationship goes haywire, career nosedives, and happiness becomes a distant dream.
But believe me, It’s God’s way to tell you that your life requires servicing, relationships need overhauling, decisions need ordering, judgements need structuring.
You please listen to the voice of your God. God is sending you signals for a lifestyle change. He is whispering in your ears for Course Correction.
That is why feeling lonely in life is good and not bad because God is showing interest in your improvement.
How To Find Happiness In Your Loneliness?
Loneliness is not bliss, but it is not an agony either.
There are various ways, which can make you happy in your loneliness.
1- Feeling Lonely Is Good For Introspection
There is nothing outside of yourself, look within. Everything you want is there – you are That.
Life is so busy, and you are always overburdened with tasks, one after another, after another.
You become so habitual to your environment, that you start recognizing yourself with that environment. When you don’t find the same environment around you, you start feeling alone, you start feeling lonely.
Your outer world is good for your busyness. That gives you a routine but not the happiness of life.
Your loneliness gives you time to Introspect in life, which otherwise was not possible. You analyze your conscious thoughts and feelings, which are so important for your happiness.
You are feeling lonely in life because your inner self is not satisfied. Something is missing within you, that is keeping you mentally disturbed.
Your introspection allows you to slow down, observe and regain the composure of your life.
Your introspection gives you certain ideas and styles, that becomes a roadmap for you. With the help of that roadmap, you re-connect with God, society, and yourself. Happiness comes into your life again.
2- Feeling Lonely Is Good For Connecting With God
It is better to be alone with God. His friendship will not fail me, nor His counsel, nor His love. In His strength, I will dare and dare and dare until I die.
-Joan Of Arc
When you are lonely and down then naturally you turn towards God. You open your heart to Him in your lone moments. You complain to Him for something you missed, ask for His support for something you want, pray to Him, and seek refuge and guidance from Him.
This makes you more humble and pure. You become more humane and trustworthy.
Had you not been feeling lonely in life, you would have not been gone through this new equation with God.
Your loneliness becomes a blessing for you.
3- Feeling Lonely Is Good For Your Personal Development
Be yourself; no base imitator of another, but your best self. There is something which you can do better than another. Listen to the inward voice and bravely obey that. Do the things at which you are great, not what you were never made for.
Ralph Waldo Emerson
When you are beset with people around you, you don’t have enough time for yourself. Your 24*7 engagements don’t give you enough time to evaluate and learn new things.
When you are feeling lonely in life and life is not going in the desired direction, then this is the best time to work on yourself, on your personal development.
Personal development skills are characteristics and capabilities that help you grow both personally and professionally. In other words, they are skills that help you nurture your personal development. Understanding and improving these skills can help you maximize your potential.
When you are developed personally, you become more mature.
It expands your understanding of love, affection, and forgiveness and thus includes a wider range of behaviours & activities as acceptable.
So, the things, that are giving you sadness and loneliness earlier, become tolerable to you without troubling you because of your matured state.
You become a better human being, who is more social, a better professional, and a very lovable person.
4- Feeling Lonely Is Good For Self-Discovery
“The greatest discovery in life is self-discovery. Until you find yourself you will always be someone else. Become yourself.”
Why are you feeling lonely? just think over it.
Either you are not feeling self-sufficient or you have a group and still, you feel lonely in that group.
Whatever may be your answer, but to overcome this situation you need to discover yourself.
Your self-discovery is mainly about
- who are you
- why are you here
- what potentials do you have
- how you are going to live your life
When you go for the answers to these questions, you discover yourself.
You come to know about your existence, the purpose and mission of your life, what talents and abilities you have, how they are collectively going to build your behaviour and personality.
You come to know yourself and others better. This also helps in strengthening your relationships.
If you discover yourself in your loneliness, then your loneliness is a boon for you. It is going to bring happiness to your life.
5- Feeling Lonely Is Good For Finding Your Purpose
Anybody can become angry – that is easy, but to be angry with the right person and to the right degree and at the right time and for the right purpose, and in the right way – that is not within everybody’s power and is not easy.
Your loneliness will evaporate when you start working on your purpose. Your purpose keeps you energized, and charged up.
Your purpose guides your life decisions, influences your behaviour, shapes your goals, offers you a sense of direction, and creates a meaningful life.
These things shape you as a different individual who has no time for grudges and whines. Your purpose brings happiness to your life and throws away loneliness.
6- Feeling Lonely Is Good For Understanding Others
“When we understand people;
when we understand situations;
when we understand what matters;
when we understand the why’s, the what’s and the how’s;
when we understand the trigger of actions, we least inflict pain on ourselves and unto others.”
Ernest Agyemang Yeboah
Your loneliness cuts you off from your social contacts, even at times it alienates you from yourself.
This is the right time to evaluate how judgemental you are towards others, and how much you try to understand those who are in connection with you.
The more you understand others, the better the bondings you develop with them.
Better understanding also avoids the differences between you and others. When you understand better, you live better.
Understanding others is good for amicable relationships, and happy living.
7- Feeling Lonely Is Good For Making Healthy Relationships
A healthy relationship keeps the doors and windows wide open. Plenty of air is circulating and no one feels trapped. Relationships thrive in this environment. Keep your doors and windows open. If the person is meant to be in your life, all the open doors and windows in the world, will not make them leave. Trust the truth.
Your loneliness is related to your stress. The more lonely you feel, the more stressed you are.
Improve the health of your relationships, that will reduce your stress level and in effect, you won’t feel lonely rather you will become happy.
When you are stressed then the following things happen in your relationships-
- you withdraw from your connections
- you become distracted
- you show less affection
- you become suspicious
- your language changes
- you are very emotional and less energetic
- you become very touchy
- your health goes down
- you become extremely negative
Analyze them minutely, and you will easily judge that how weak your relationships would become with these kinds of thoughts.
Don’t feel lonely and improve on these counts to ignite the fire of a healthy life again.
8- Feeling Lonely Is Good For Your Mental Strength
“You cannot be lonely if you like the person you’re alone with.”
Your loneliness has an impact on your mental strength. When you feel lonely and down your mental faculty also works slowly. It means it makes you further dull.
You have to be willing to change your mental status. The same mental state that has led you to loneliness will not take you to happiness.
You have to change the status willfully or else they will damage your life.
According to Strycharczyk and Clough (n.d.), techniques for developing mental toughness revolve around five themes:
1- Positive Thinking
It will give you a new direction and perspective.
2- Anxiety Control
It will change your way of perceiving things.
Visualize that good things are happening in your life, and your mental state will change.
4- Goal Setting
It gives your mind a purpose and direction.
5- Attention Control
Don’t divert, remain firm and strong. Don’t fall back to the same trap.
Work on these five things daily, and gradually they will make you stronger and happier.
9- Feeling Lonely Is Good For Becoming More Compassionate
“Love and compassion are necessities, not luxuries. Without them, humanity cannot survive.”
Dalai Lama XIV, The Art of Happiness
When you are feeling lonely in life, then being a human you need sympathy, empathy, and compassion.
You need love and affection. You have gone through that lonely phase so you better understand, that what it feels to be lonely.
This feeling makes you more compassionate because you better understand the feelings of other lonely people.
Compassion is one step ahead of empathy. Compassion is empathy in action. It is doing the good things with others.
When you do good, you feel good. Good feeling gives you contentment and peace and becomes instrumental for your inner peace and happiness.
10- Feeling Lonely Is Good For Your Social Connection
“There is no word for goodbye in Lakota. That’s what my mother used to tell me. Sure, there are words like toksa, which meant “later,” that was used by people as a modern substitute. She’d told me later that the Lakota people didn’t use a term for farewell because of the idea that we are forever connected. To say goodbye would mean the circle was broken.”
David Heska Wanbli Weiden, Winter Counts
Since you are a survivor of loneliness, you know what it takes to be socially starved.
You would have learned many lessons in your solitude. You are capable enough lonely but that is not sufficient for your survival, love, and happiness.
You need someone to shake hands with, share ideas with, talk with, make fun with, eat with, live with, and settle with. These all give way to your social connections. You are a social creature.
Feeling lonely in life is a phase of life and not the whole life in itself. Sometimes, you pass through adverse situations to become tough. Those who lag in life are those, who quit when going gets tough.
Your loneliness is to make you tough. You are born for bigger things in life. Nature is conditioning you for that.
Smile and pat on your back because nature is preparing you to help the entire humanity.
There are certain lessons that only loneliness can teach you.
Bigger responsibilities come with bigger sacrifices.
You are about to be crowned.